If you’re dealing with self-doubt I bet you feel tense, scared, paralyzed with indecision. Whether you have a new idea for your business or you want to start something totally new, your thoughts are likely telling you things like “you can’t do that” “what makes you think YOU can do this?” “There’s no room for you in that business” or “You can’t grow your business that big, you don’t have what it takes.” Why do we experience these awful thoughts?
Self-Doubt Comes From A Good Instinct
I know it doesn’t feel like it, but your self-doubt is there for a good reason. Is that reason that you actually can’t do what you’re planning? No! The reason is that your mind has evolved a very sophisticated system for keeping you safe and when you consider doing something new, that part of your mind panics and tries to keep you safe by just not trying.
But Self-Doubt Is Holding You Back
The thing is, though, these thoughts are not true. Just because your brain thinks it, that doesn’t make it the truth about you and your potential. When you believe those thoughts it keeps you “playing it safe” and not taking bold action to make your dreams a reality.
Living that way can lead to a lot of regret and missed opportunities. It’s also rough on your self-esteem. Self-doubt sabotages your success by
- keeping you from learning and growing
- stopping you from saying yes to good opportunities
- crushing your spirit and leading to jealousy and resentment
So if these thoughts about not being able to do it aren’t true, where are they coming from?
Have you ever noticed that thoughts rarely come by themselves? One negative thought will very quickly turn into a hurricane of thoughts that can even begin to impact your nervous system and possibly give you a panic attack. That becomes a loop that’s difficult to break out of because your subconscious sees that panic attack or anxiety and says “See? This new idea is bad. It’s going to harm us.”
Our thoughts happen so quickly that we think they are our core identity. In reality—with practice— you can take a step back from your thoughts and engage with them separately from who you are. You can learn to watch your thought and make a reasoned decision about whether it is accurate or not. And that is a super power!
The truth is that the deep subconscious of your mind is operating exactly like a computer, it’s complex but runs on programs. All your past experiences have created that programming. The way you ingest data all day long directly affects how you see yourself and how your subconscious mind is being programmed.
You fall into the same patterns again and again because of that programing. But once you aware of it, it can be changed.
Before we try to change our internal programming it’s important to talk about self-compassion. If your programming is keeping you locked in self-doubt you might feel frustrated or annoyed about it. You might lash out at yourself or feel hatred towards that negative voice within.
But like I said earlier, the programming is trying to keep you safe. When it sees you trying something new it becomes frightened and does its best to convince you not to go for it. That inner voice is not a nag, it’s a child. It’s a child comfortable with what it knows (even if it’s not very pleasant).
Would you get angry at a frightened child?
Probably not. You would speak to her calmly. You would reassure her that you have everything under control. That’s what I want you to do for that inner voice that is doubting you. I want you to separate it from you and visualize it as its own being.
And this is the most important thing I want to tell you today: give that inner voice love. Tell it that it might be scared right now, but it’s all going to be okay. You’ve got this!
What is it about new things that scares your mind? It’s a challenge to IDENTITY.
Let’s talk about what that means.
We take on a lot of labels that become part of how we see our core identity. Anything that comes after “I am” is something we’ve told our mind is a core part of our being. For example, “I’m bad at math.” “I’m not cut out to be a leader.” And positive things too. “I’m a great cook.” “I love writing.”
Those things are programmed into us hard, but they can actually be changed. We limit ourselves and put fences around our potential.
For example I’ve been in the hair industry for 15 years. When I opened my own salon I went from being an employee following instructions from someone else to the leader. I had to shift seeing myself as a hairstylist to seeing myself as a boss.
I felt so much guilt, resistance, and yes….self-doubt. Because I hadn’t updated how my mind saw my core identity. I had to learn to rebuild my identity and update my neural network to envision myself as the person that I was growing into.
Here’s How To Rise Above Self-Doubt
Step One: Have compassion for yourself
When you hear that inner voice of doubt I don’t want you to fight it, I want you to give it love. Reassure it that you’re not in danger and everything is going to be okay. Whether your new business idea works or not, you’re still going to be just fine.
Step Two: Update the pieces of your identity that are ready for growth
Listen for when you say or think “I am…” What messages are you sending to yourself and others about who you are and what you are capable of? Practice shifting negative “I am” statements to something more optimistic. Such as “I may not have fundraised much in the past, but I can practice and get better at it.” Or “Writing hasn’t always come easy to me, but I am learning and getting better at it every day.” Or “I am great at learning languages, I just need to put more time into it.”
Step Three: Practice seeing your thoughts for what they are
Practice taking that step back and noticing your thoughts. When a thought comes up, just look at it. Observe it from the mature part of your brain and decide whether it is an accurate thought or not. This will become easier and easier to do. And then you can dismiss the thoughts that don’t serve you.
Your success starts on the inside.
“80 percent of success is due to psychology—mindset, beliefs, and emotions—and only 20 percent is due to strategy—the specific steps needed to accomplish a result” -Tony Robbins
It’s true, once you get your mindset in place, success naturally follows. With this practical workbook you will gain the skills you need to put the foundation of your business mindset in place!
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