How to Rebuild Your Relationship with Money

Most money relationships stem from the relationships that you have with past experiences and societal imprints.  These imprints could be a traumatic experience. Maybe within your own business or with your family growing. You could have seen a lot of loss around money, fighting around money, a lot of movies around the bad guys being the wealthy ones and the good people being the struggling poor people. It’s really important to gather a general understanding of where we are with that relationship.

How do you receive money? How are you talking about money? How does money show up in your business? 

If we improve that relationship with money that will dramatically improve that relationship with receiving money, how you take action and it shifts your perspective of opportunity in general.

The unconscious mind and how those imprints take place.

Anything on repeat that may not cause a huge nervous system response are generally going to be causing some type of imprint that will create some kind of unconscious behavior.

There’s traumatic experiences and there is truly no way to say that someone’s trauma isn’t valid. Everyone experiences an experience and it imprints in its own way based on that specific situation.

If someone says they’re traumatized by something most people think it has to be an insanely wild and super scary experience. However, you could have had a really scary experience and it heightened your nervous system. It created this nervous system response and memory imprint where it caused this traumatic response. It lives within our body, mind. Whenever we have that and it’s not healed, we respond from that space. 

How does it show up in your relationship with money?

When you’re trying to grow in your business, essentially what happens is that you’re fighting up against these imprints. This fight is unconscious so you’re truly not aware of these behaviors showing up on a daily basis.

The first step is general curiosity and neutrality towards your relationship with money. 

We stop the judgment and we stop the understanding that that’s not possible for me or I’m not worthy.  When we stop this it starts to open up doors to possibility. We start to step into real change. When we shift from limitation to possibility is when life truly opens up for you. 

How does money and intimacy intertwine?

Intimacy means being close and familiar with someone or something. How this can show up for some is being too close to money. There’s a general rooted control or lack of trust. They’re constantly afraid to spend money. It’s important to remember that this flow is very restrictive, it’s not expansive and it’s rooted in a lack of trust. 

On the polar opposite side, we’re very distant from our relationship. This is rooted in avoidance. It’s a way to manage stress by avoiding difficult feelings or emotions. If you’ve gone way too long without looking at your money or seeing what’s coming in or out of your business, that’s the general state of avoidance. We do that as a coping mechanism to manage stress and to manage uncomfortable feelings of being intimate with our numbers in the bank account.

It’s never the relationship with money that’s the issue.

These are the conversations we’re having daily with my high-level coaching students who are running profitable businesses. They just have no idea how they’re making money and they feel nervous about it. We’re giving them brand new tools to be in this brand new relationship. Money is a mirror image of what’s happening inside of you. 

It’s happening inside of you whether it was a past experience that you’re afraid of reliving. Sometimes what can happen is we have so many connections with memories, words and experiences that by just saying the word “bank account” will cause a complete disruption with your nervous system. In general awareness and neutrality, you’re aware that you feel a level of discomfort and you’re truly unaware of the ins and outs of your business.

Money can also show up in different ways.

If you’ve ever struggled with abandonment this can also show up in your money relationships. It can show up by not charging enough for your services. We make the assumption of well, if I keep my prices low people will come in and they will stay. Some people will inherently stay because of the price, but that’s not everybody. Running your business based off of that one mentality can be super detrimental to the health of your business and your financial freedom. Maybe, one of the main reasons why you opened this business is so you can have more freedom, ease and flow in your life. To be able to hold space for those larger flows of wealth to come in and for you to hold it with ease.

Sometimes it could show up as when we start having a business and employees by trying to make things cheaper for them. In reality, you actually lose out because maybe you’re paying them so much so they’ll stay but your business is in the red. 

This is really important to recognize because it shows up as a behavior with money but really it’s a behavior of fear of experiencing that emotion again.  

It’s not money intimacy, it’s intimacy with self. How deep are we willing to look within? If we’re willing to look within ourselves and understand that this is a behavior that I have and maybe it’s showing up for a reason. Let’s explore that with curiosity and explore where there’s healing and growth to happen. That is the byproduct of showing up differently in your life and your habitual behavior.

Read how to heal your money story with your partner here.

How does this show up with manifestation? 

When you change your behaviors and habits, what you receive and achieve is inherently different. Manifestation is simply the byproduct of your thoughts, beliefs and actions. If we start looking inward and say my thoughts, beliefs and actions don’t match the version of who I want to become then I need to stop looking outwardly and asking for more money to come in. I need to see more of myself so that I can change behaviors that support the version of me that I truly want to become so when I deeply call those in, they flow in with ease.

I need to let go of the stories, limitations and perceived ideas of who I am and what I’m afraid is going to happen to me. When you do this you’re allowing more space for healing, feeling and understanding of self.  Which will in turn, change your relationships with yourself, others and with money because money is not a separate entity. Often we believe it is but it truly isn’t. We are energetically made of the same atoms and vibrations but on the physical plane, we see money is separate from us. We’re constantly asking for money to grace us and asking for it to be with us but we’re not allowing the space for it.

It has no space to flow in when we have walls of avoidance, lack of trust and abandonment up. There’s not any space for it to grow within you. 

Here’s what I’d like for you to remember: money is a relationship. 

 Your relationship with money truly is that relationship that you desire to have with yourself. A relationship of trust. I trust myself. I trust money to flow. I am not avoiding my needs, my desires or my wounds. I am caring for them. I am seeing them. Therefore, I see that in others. I respond with full attention, presence and trust with others in my relationships. 

It is a living and breathing relationship inside of you and with others. 

How do we change that? First thing is to realize that there’s change to be made and to love yourself enough to do something about it. Every moment of every day is an opportunity for you to be able to shift into a new perspective. 

Once we have general awareness, I want you to ask yourself these question: 

If money was a person, how would that relationship be? 

Is this a relationship that is worth building? 

When I see others making more, doing more and receiving more, what energy does that put me in? 

The energy of flow is rooted in love and it comes from being open and inspired. If you can look at someone and you can shift that perspective from jealousy to how can I look at this person as a person that is truly showing up as an example of what is possible for me. 

My book is great place to start if you’re unsure of where to begin on this journey. Snag yours below!

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