Let’s chat about emotional validation and how doing this one thing can release self-doubt. Emotional validation is one of the m ost important pieces of the puzzle when it comes to self-doubt.
First, I want to tell you a little story about my daughter to paint a picture for you. My daughter stayed home from school one day because she wasn’t feeling well. She’s nine years old and she’s one of those kids who really loves to get good grades and wants to do well. When she misses a day of school she gets really overwhelmed because she’ll have more work to do and I don’t want her to feel overwhelmed. I’ve been practicing this for a couple of years but instead of trying to fix it for her immediately, I tell her hey, I’m sorry that you feel that way. Is there anyway I can support you to help feel less overwhelmed. I could see her eyes well up in the very beginning from feeling overwhelmed so when I validated that emotion for her the tears went away and her energy softened.
I want to explain to you why this was so important because there’s a lot of people who find themselves in similar situations and immediately try to fix it. If you’re doing this in your relationships then you’re also doing this to yourself. What ends up happening is when we recognize or confirm a person’s feelings, we’re saying that their emotion is valid and it’s OK to have that emotion. What we give others so freely, we must also give back to ourselves.
Your emotions are a priority.
Our nervous systems begin to activate with more anxiety, fear and panic when we minimize what we’re feeling. When we don’t dismiss what we’re feeling and we say hey, what I was doing it’s OK and it’s OK that I’m feeling this way. By doing this, you’re making your feelings and emotions a priority. This is moving them up the emotional scale to acceptance which allows you to be in a new energetic space of ease.
I want to imagine yourself in a conversation with someone and you’re feeling angry. You don’t want someone to fix it, you just want to be able to vent. Anytime you need to do this, start the conversation by saying hey, I don’t need any fixing right now. I just really need someone to listen. Can you do that for me?
There’s nothing wrong with emotions.
Read that again. You’re not too sensitive. There’s no too big of emotions or being too emotional. Applying these tools with yourself, you children, your relationship will create a ripple effect to those around you.
Anyone who is affected positively by you also has their own orbit of people – the ripple effect. Just know, the work you’re doing doesn’t stop with you.
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